here's a blog so you know i'm alive

since my last posting i've finished my spring semester of my sophomore year of college and im actually not as far behind as i thought i was. I passed all my classes and improved my gpa. I've moved out of the dorm and into an apartment in Jax which means i'll be there all summer. I'm excited to see what this summer holds since I wont be home. I need to find a job to pay for my rent or else i have to move home. And as much as i like to be home after being home for only 3 days i cant do it. I'm already over being here. 

It's kinda werid knowing that im half way done with college and that i'll soon be looking for a job to support myself. I keep thinking about this past year and how things changed. i know i've changed and i can see diferent things in myself. I can find things that have changed for the better and some changes that i dont like so much.  This past year has challenged me in things like my spiritual life, my relationships with people and my family, my future, and the way i live my life and live out my faith. I think about how different my first year was from my second year.  I wouldnt change it for anything. the experiences I've had and the people who have come into my life have had an impact on me.  And i realize how blessed am I to have have these. I cant wait to see what the future has instore. I dont wanna grow up just yet but i'm looking forward to the adventures that will come with it.

heres a random boring post to waste time

One week left of claases

one week of finals and then spring 2009 semester will be over.

I'm in shock that there is so little time left and so much i feel like i have to do.

i'm not looking forward to packing up my room. i always wait till the last min anyways but im already dreading it. I have so much to do before finals. and lots of studying to get done and papers to write. But 2 weeks and the semester is over. 

I went home for easter weekend and i realized how much i feel out of place. especially when i go to FRC. I use to go there and knew everybody and felt like i was a part of it but there are just so new many people and its just not the same church that i grew up in. things like that make me want to stay here in jax this summer. As much as i'll miss the hanging out with the nations/heather homegroup crew i think going home will do nothing for me this summer. I wont benefit from it. Its a hard decision because i miss my family and the little ones and watching them grow up.but its one that needs to be made and soon.

thats all i have to say right now. im in class and was bored so i decided to write something but i cant think about anything important to say while my teachers up there lecturing. 

I didnt meet Mickey but I still had fun!!!!!

So for my Birthday I got tickets for me and some friends to go to disney for the day. I choose the 3 friends that i spend most of my time with and thought i would have fun with. The weekend started first started with some Hot tub time. And after we got home i got things together and decided that i should try and get at least a couple hours of sleep since i was going to drive down to disney and back in the same day.But who can sleep when your going to THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH. i think i probably got about 3 hours of sleep the whole night if that. So i got up at 6 and got ready to go. Picked up the boys and left campus around 7:15 in the morning. By 9:30 we were in disney parking lot and about 20 mis later we were in Disney for that would be a long but exciting day. Little did we know before we got there the park was open till midnight and not 10 like we thought.

So we started out the morning in the "future" we spent a couple hours riding all the rides that we're in tomorowland. and then moved on to hit up the tea cups (which is my favorite ride but emily had problems keeping her lunch down) we went hit up the big rides and for some reason i got on splash mountain. i survived i guess. 

I really had a good time. It was a great way to celebrate my birthday with friends. It was also a good way to end the semester. 

This is something i came across the other night and it really hit me.

Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving you because you belong to Christ. 

Ephesians 4: 31-32 TLB

While God desires that we recognize our anger and bitterness toward others, harboring those feelings and refusing to work toward the restoration of broken relationships is contrary to His will. We need to prayerfully confront and confess inner feelings of anger, and then surrender them to the loving healing of our heavenly Father.

i just started to write. this is what came out. i think my fingers have a mind of their own

only 3 more days till spring break. im really excited to not have classes and to hit the beach. 

at some point i'll be going home. and to endure the torture that is my house emily will be coming to the 954 with me. im actually excited for her to come down and meet my family and friends. i'll also be turning 20 when at home. now im not quite sure how i feel about turning 20. no longer a teen but still young. i've come to apoint in my life where i know that im getting older cause some of my freinds are getting engaged and married. i never thought i would get to that point but at last here i am. it just werid to think about people i know my age getting married. i dont think im anywhere near that stage in my life.but im okay with that. its like pastor troy talked about a couple weeks ago. that its better to be single cause then you can put God at number one in your life. i really am trying to be better about my quiet times. for a couple weeks at the beginning of the semester i was doing really good but i've seem to have lost that drive and returned to my laziness. it sad because i see my roommate do hers at night before we go to bed and i always think to myself that i should do mine to but i never do. why is it so hard to give time to God? i can sit on facebook for hours and not do anything but i cant give time to someone whose suppose to be my best friend and lover? it really makes me sad and im working on it and i'm having someone keep me accountable for it.

it just really werid to think that my 2nd year of college is almost over. im so over school though. im tired of going to class and doing homework. i cant wait for this break. it cant come soon enough. i just wish that we had the same break as some other schools. i dont many that have the same break that we do. its kinda depressing.

this post is just full of random thougths that as i started writing came to my head. please forgive me for being all over the place. im tired and its late at night.

is there such thing as caring too much? 

a random and akward sat.

if only i could tell you the thoughts from inside my head at any point today/tonight

i really wish i had something to record my thought. 

people surprise me sometimes.

but i guess thats what makes us human. are ablity to be different.

and for some reason at 2:30 in the morning im not tired. i think it cause i have too much going on in my head to sleep. but im gonna try anyways.

a random thursday night blog

Thanks to a lot of hardwork and some of our tuition money, tonight and tom night at UNF we are having a concert called REVAMP:unity. its really cool cause many of the religious organizatons come together with student government to bring 5 big christians bands to our school for a free concert. Its pretty awesome. Tonight was story side B, seventh day slumber, and the Afters. the afters were good, form what i got to see of seventhe day they were good, and i didnt get to see story side. but have no fear they are playing tom night too. as well as tenth ave north, and KJ-52. im really excited for tenth. but its really cool cause they have some really awesome speakers who come out and give their story and an alter call. its really reassuring to see how many people on our campus know God. dont get me wrong there are more who need to know him but there were a good amount of people there. it was just an awesome experience. 

Afterwards we headed out to our favorite late night eating place. we usually hit up taco bell and go over to sonics which is closed and eat at their tables. well tonight that came to end. we finally after doing this for several weeks now were told by the police that we were not aloud to be there.so needless to say we will be finding another spot to eat our late night meals.

on a sadder note in the 2 months since we've been back to school i've lost 3 family members. its hard cause they we're really close to me but at the same time they're family and its still a sad event. 

i wish i could say i cant wait for summer but summer only brings along more classes. and the only thing i hate about summer class is that they are so long. you have to cram 16 weeks of stuff into 6. its redic. i cant wait to be done with school. even though i feel like i really dont do much im just tired of the stupid homework that we have to do. it sucks. but im really trying to get better about studying and doing well in classes. hoping to get my scholarships back so i can eat. this whole being a broke college student really sucks. 

oh and will people stop getting engaged and married please. its kinda depressing me. im happy for you. but can we please just stop at least for a while.

who knew a trip home would prove to be more then just a trip home

so after tonight i realize i have a lot of decsions that need to be made.

what am i doing with my life now? what do i plan on doing with it?

where do i go from here?

looking to God for anwsers is definitly eaiser said then done. Its easy to give that advice to others but to use it myself is a lot harder. 

i  guess its a good thing that i have a 5 hour drive tom. some quality god and me time.

im getting better on this blogging thing this semester

Jon, the basketball star, at the inner city ballers intermural bball game totally dominating

UNF Basketball team before the JU game (# 32 is my fav)

we went to the mall to buy chad a legit jacket and he fell in love with this starwars jacket. Chad loves him some starwars...nerd

At LOMM (legue of mediocre men) watching the boys play football on a very cold and windy sunday afternoon

Emily and Me at the JU bball game

 at MOSH over winter break on our funday with jon

This semester is awesome. 2 thumbs up!!!!!

i'm going home this weekend and i def think its a much needed time to relax and time to get away. i love it here but im really missing my family these last couple of weeks. with everything that has been going on within my family i feel that its a good time to go home and show that i love and care about them even though i dont always show those feeling to them when im away. 

as much as im dreading that 5 hour car ride home tom i think it def is gonna be worth it. to see my family and hang out with them is all i really wanna do this weekend. throw in a hockey game and lunch with jon and the girls and this weekend is looking like its gonna be a fun and relaxing one. i cant wait. 

im also looking forward to the great amount of sleep that im gonna get. hopefully. and good food. i hoping for steak. and lots of it. real good legit meals. 

Blah is word of the day

my head is spinning, and i just dont know what to do anymore

i've had this feeling in my stomach and it wont go away.

i dont know what im doig with my life.

I dont know where certain friendships are going. Or where i want them to go.

I cant tell if its God or my own self desires

my crew finally has something they can make jokes at me for

i thought i was doing so well in my classes but it turns out im not doing as well as i hoped

my life is so blah at the moment

i dont know what to do with myself

im having a hard time bringing myself out of this slump

valentines' day is this weekend. Yippie :( not...

my family memebers are dying off left and right

i dont know where to take this relationship from here

why do i only dwell on the bad and not the good

how come i cant find mr. right. it seems like everyone else has

sometimes i wish i could just be a fly on the wall

i've offically hit poor college student status

i cant find a job anywhere

my roommates getting on my nerves

i feel like i have to cry but i cant make tears

why cant i just be content with the way things are

I'm over it