going to bed before 2 am is NOT COOL, not cool at all

so i have one more final to take for the semester
i have studied for about an hour. i am no way at all ready for this test. but here i sit with my roommate and 2 friends trying to study. and by study i mean have facebook conversations while we sit 3 feet from each other. this isnt looking good for me at all. but if i at least get a c on this test i can pass the class and be happy with it. im so ready for this semester to be over with. it has definitely flew by. the last couple weeks have probably been some of my favorite moments so far. i cant wait to just relax and not worry about school at all. im also excited to be able to stay in jax a little longer and enjoy everything it has to offer without school getting in the way

so i've taken a 2 hour study break, im really gonna get back to studying. really i am. i promise

i'm up late for no reason but to have facebook conversations with friends who are sitting across from me

So its currently 2:15 in the morning and im sitting in the atrium of one of the bulidings with 3 of friends( 2 who are trying to work on papers). Work wise we arent getting much done but we're becoming better friends in the process and thats all that really matters right? For me anyways at least. i dont have any homework or papers due till we come back. so for right now im just enjoying my time of not doing anything and being able to hang out with my friends. Next though might be a different story. I'm taking 16 hours but really looking forward to it. im bascially taking elective classes now to just get hours that i need. So hopefully it wont be too hard.

i'm going home on wednesday. I'm excited to be able to go home and see my family and friends. I've only been home once this semester so being able to go home and spending sometime relaxing and having a good homecooked meal is real exciting. I also hope that the weather is nice and warm. im tired of freezing( and its only november).

i watched FRC online this morning since i didnt get up in time to go church. i got to see the new series and im really excited for it. I'm also excited that there is a church here and Jax that is doing the same thing. I think i'm going to take the 30 min drive and check it out.( and maybe take a couple of friends along with me) but i get to be home to experience at least one week live. its really werid because i never would of thought that i'd miss flamingo the way i do but after being at the same church for a year and then trying others has really grown my appreciation towards FRC and everything its grown to be.

God works in awesome ways and i cant wait to see what is going to happen.

Here are some pics from this semester and an some things i wanted to write down

At Alltel Statium (where the Jags play) a picture from our scavernger hunt Some of the crew after a sweet weekend at Jykell Island, Ga camping with Freshmen Bible study

After our game of extreme kickball covered in ketchup, mayo, mustard and a bunch more gross things

As this semester is almost done with I wonder where the time has gone. It seems like I just started college and I’m almost down with my 3rd semester. This year is totally different then last year. I feel like this is home now. I probably should have gone home this past weekend. since we didn’t have school on Tuesday my only classes this week are on Thursday. So I pretty much haven’t done anything over the past couple days. It’s been really nice. I actually have time to breathe and relax and enjoy life. I’ve been able to hang out with people and not worry about having to study or write a paper. This year has gone by so fast. But I had such a good time and maybe it’s a good thing, who wants time to just drag on.
Spiritually I’ve been down. I constantly find myself just going through the motions rather then actually do things purposefully and whole-heartedly. I’ve gotten into such a routine even of you can call it that. I’ve just found myself wanting more when I’m not giving anything. I stepped down from doing life group on Sunday. How can I tell high schoolers to have a relationship with God and to live a certain way when I myself cant even do that. I’ve been looking for another church. One that will challenge me more in my Faith. I find Chets to be a comfort zone. Some of my friends go there so it was just easy to go there, to be a Christian there. But I’m looking to see what else is out there. Maybe there is somewhere else that I can go where I’ll get something out of the service and be moved every time I leave. I’ve been working on the spiritual side of things this week. I’ve given more time to God. To reading his word. I feel better about the way things are going in my life in only the couple days I’ve made a change in things. Things are looking good. Im looking forward to the end of the semester. To be able to spend some time home and with family.

i hate picking classes

i need to take 5 classes next semester and they'll total anywhere from between 15 to 18 hours depending on what i take. unfortunately to my dismay 3 of the classes i want/need to take are only offered once next semester. On the same days at the same time. so right now im stuck trying ot figure out what to take next semester without wasting credit hours. this stinks!!!

i've been sick for a week and my worlds going crazy

I love college life. I love being on my own and being able to make choice for myself. i love the friends i've made and the good times we have together. i love being spontaneous. I love that everyday holds something different.

but lately i havent i've just been draging spiritually, physically, emoitionally. Theres something that i feel is missing and i cant figure it out.
this semester has been challenging for me is so many ways. I've decided to take a different path with my major, i've become distant with those who were closest to me but gaining some awesome friends in return, my spiritual life is lacking in every departmentand i'm searching for a new home church that i can grow spiritually from. i find that who i am and what i want have changed so much just over the time i've started this semester. growing up certainly does take a toll on your emotions.

but on brighter side i got to vote inmy first presidential election. well i sent in my vote. but its still cool to know that i did my part as an american to pick the leader of my country. Hopefully that person will win. I dont think we're ready for the changes obama is gonna bring.

this is such a random post seeing as i havent posted for over a month

so since i've changed my major im only taking 9 hours this semester. meaning i now have less homework and less stress. sweet!!!!!

i've finished my LIT paper thats not due till thursday. (now its tuesday) so that means that i will not be pulling an all nighter to finish this paper.

now if only i didnt have class for the rest of the week

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

oh what joyful news i have

so i have decided how i'm gonna spend the rest of my college days

Drumroll please................

i'm marjoring in International studies with a concentration in Latin American studies and a minor in religous studies

and after looking a everything last night im really excited about it
now im just praying about and waiting
but come friday i'll hopefully be changing my major to something more interesting then accounting.
i'm really excited

now to tell my mom

What are you doing today??? nothing and i mean nothing!!!!!

so today was my day to breathe
i had a lab this morning and nothing else so i was gonna spend the day not doing homework or anything school related till i got back from bible study
went to lab, came back and slept,did laundry, got chinese food for lunch/dinner, took a nap, went to church bible study, hung out with Ique for a little it and finalyy did some studying.
now if i can make it through tom with not a lot of homework then i can finally enjoy my weekend.

i just havent had enough time to give anything my full attention. even phone calls are being multi tasked.

hopefully from here on the semester will slow down.
cause if its as busy as the last couple weeks have been i might not make it out a live




oh and congrats to Matt and Jenn on their twins. im so happy for you two
How about Kasey and Kahne for names????

awwwwwwwww

I'm completely frustrated with everything
i have so much to do
i cant even function right now. my mind is going in a million different directions
i just dont know what to do anymore

i just wanna make it out of this week alive
and hopefully next week will be a lot better

the emotions of a girl

I feel that I'm searching for something but i dont know what
I feel that God is trying to tell me something and i'm missing all the signs
I feel that im being such a girl and taking things the wrong way
I feel that some of my priorities aren't right
i feel that i'm nelglecting my family
i feel that i'm not doing as well I should be in school(procrastination at its finest)
I feel that I need me some more Jesus time
I feel that things are better then i realize they are
I feel things that I dont even know how to put into words or even describe




i wrote this to get my feelings out hoping it would help
maybe it will i dont
what i do know is that I love me some Jesus

He is good, he is good and his love endures

I wish i could find a way to describe what happen tonight and how everyone was feeling and give it justice. we went out there knowing that God was going to do great things and he did without us even trying. its amazing how he can do that.

everything thats going on is just falling into place it seems, maybe not the way i planned it or had wished for it to go but i feel that its definitely God's doing. I have peace with what's going on in my life.

my sunday turned out better then i though

• went to church
• Lunch at Jason's deli with some awesome friends
• got some homework and organizing done
• Justin made baked ziti for dinner
• so much needed hang out time with friends
• making friends with the internationals
• late night baking of some amazing cookies
• doing a little pranking (probably gonna start a war with this one)

nights like tonight are reasons why i love college and my friends

i didnt think today was gonna be fun but everything turned out to be good.

now its off to bed.

God works through those who work for him

so tonight was like every other night we go to the beach to feed the homeless. we left school made our pit stop at country club lakes to pick up the others and headed to the beach. its been a whole summer since I've done this so I wanted to get back to it. my heart really wasnt in it. I was tired, hungry, and i just wanted to lay somewhere but I went anyway. and i'm glad i did.

we met this man Jose who when he sat down didnt look to good. he was very hungry come to find out he had diabetes and was an alcholic. So john was talking to him and Jose only knew little english and none of us speak spanish. Jose told JOhn that he needed healing and Jesus. it was awesome to see John break down the language barrier and tell this man about Jesus and how Jesus can help him with not only his diabetes but with his alcholoism . John prayed with him and after the guy made a complete 180 with his emotions. he was happy and joyful and was excited about knowing that Jesus can heal him. Not only did it affect Jose but it affected the other people around him. they're whole deminar changed also.

God works through those who work for him

i dont have class tomorrow- hahaha

so i found out today that we're doing nooma videos for the freshmen bible study this year.
doing the video gives us more time to be social and build relationships
I really loved my freshmen group last year. as a group we're close not only just the freshmen but with the leaders too and that group had some of my closet friends in it.
i look forward to being a leader this year. we have some really cool things that we are planning on doing. i hope to build some strong relationships and not only have the freshmen benefit from this bible study but for us as leaders to get something out of it.


the rooms starting to look better. well my roommates half is at least. i have to put up some pictures tomorrow so it looks more lively.

saw some more of my friends today and its just really good to back. and we've already had our first dinner/party of the year today. its the first of many and if its any sign of whats to come then its a good sign.

Jacksonville- what adventures do you hold for me this year.

I'm BACK............

not only to bloggin but to college life. I've made it back to good ol' UNF and i'm very excited not only to be living in the apartment, to back with my friends, but to see what God is going to do this year.

Since tropical Fay has been making its rounds all over Florida move in day here at UNF has been pushed back one. well i wasnt gonna stay home and more. so i packed up everything and left this morning. It may have rain for a total of 5 mins the whole ride. I get a phone call from my roommate saying they're letting us move in today. so thankfully me, my primary roommate, her boyfriend, and her parents got both of us moved in and what for now is settled. so when everyone else is moving in tommorow i can help or just sit back and relax.

but im glad to be back. Jacksonville is a place i feel i belong. and if this summer has taught me one thing its that my life is here in Jax. Besides some friends and my family my life is pretty much here.

i am excited to be back. i cant believe im sitting here in a dorm room again. it doesnt seem like that long ago i was sitting in the same dorm room putting of packing. now here i am 4 months later putting of unpacking.

i have a lot to do and no motivation to do it. but couldn't be any more excited to back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my feelings over the last couple days

its hard to know where you stand when the person you expect so much from lets you down the most.....

maybe im expecting to much 

or that i've been gone for 9 months

i dont know what it is 

but what i do know is it sucks

there's a reason why i stayed home this summer.
i wish it would present its self and be totally worth it.

The best part of being home

spending 2 hours and way to much money but having the best time ever in wal-mart with the best friend.

it was amazing fun!!!!

Summer!!!!!!! woohoo

I AM HOME

now will it be for the whole summer or just for the week no one knows for sure. i wish the decision about summer classes can be made soon. but i'm happy to be home for the time being!!!!!

why do weekends go by so fast???

I will never have freshmen status ever again!!!

I'm offically done with school for the semster
i've taken all four finals and only bombed 2 of them

the fact that my freshmen year of college is over is crazy. i never thought i make it here.

i'm still in shock that its over

and now i have to pack and move out

seriously who studies anymore???
i hate studying im am so over school
i dont want to take classes i just want summer to be here already
3 finals and 2 days to go before summer 2008

i just hope summer isnt ruined by taking summer a classes
i would love to stay in jax i just dont want to take classes

I HATE FINALS!!!!!!!!!

finals are upon us

Here at the wonderful university we like to call UNF ( U Never Finish) finals week is upon us. as of 7 o'clock this morning the library will be open 24 hours for those needing to cram for finals. I will be one of those who will find a study room and come prepared with a pillow and blanket for when it gets to the wee hours of the morning and i need a nap.

i said i wasnt going to start studyin til sunday at 1 pm but when my philosophy teacher gave us that study guide. i realize i'm going to need more time. I'm trying to pace myself and not cram everything the night before. so i'm starting early. and i'm already bored and not wating to do this. i was bored with studying before i even began studying.

the library will become the place to be, if it wasn't already.

one week and i'll be home free!!!!!!!!!

ahhh

Why, why are You still here with me

Didn't You see what I've done?

In my shame I want to run and hide myself

But it's here I see the truth I don't deserve You



But I need You to love me,

and I I won't keep my heart from You this time

And I'll stop this pretending that I can

Somehow deserve what I already have

I need You to love me



I, I have wasted so much time

Pushing You away from me

I just never saw how

You could cherish me

'Cause You're a God who has all things

And still You want me



Your love makes me forget what I have been

Your love makes me see who I really am

Your love makes me forget what I have been

my life in a nut shell

• My freshman year of college will be over in 9 days. i cant believe its been a whole year. I've made awesome friends and have had wonderful time. if i knew college was like this i would of skipped high school.
• Passion was probably one of the best weekend ever. definitely a top 5 there. its been almost 2 weeks and we still talk about it like it was yesterday. God worked so many wonders that weekend.
• I have 2 more days of classes then finals. come sunday after church i'll be in finals mode til thursday at 2:50 when i'll start being in packing mode because i have to be out on friday.
• i love love love interning with the high school. i'm so excited for everything come fall semester. its awesome to see God working in the life of the high schoolers. they're pretty cool kids
• i went to the valencia/we the kings concert on sunday and had an awesome time. we hung out after and got to meet alot of the players from the different bands there. they were cool guys and we just talked to them .
• i cant wait for summer. its gonna be fun. specially since i wont be taken any classes.
• i hate calculus
• i'm gonna miss everyone over the summer. its gonna be werid not seeing some people for 4 months. its gonna be werid not seeing some at all.
• my parents came up this weekend and even though i barely saw them it was nice. they took my fridge home with them. so the only food i'll be eating is anything that needs to be cooked in a microwave and doesnt need something that has to be refidgerated. i.e chick-fil-a and soups.

i feel like there was something important i wanted to write but i cant remember what. it's been a long day so hopefully i'll remember and write it tom.

if you need me after sunday at 1pm i'll be in the library

chick-fil-a and free wifi=amazing study time

so i'm sitting in chick-fil-a eating breakfast and getting some homework and studying done. it almost the best of both worlds i jst wish i didnt have to study.

but i have wonderful news
JULIANNE WILL BE BACK IN PINES IN 10 DAYS!!!!!!!

i'm pretty excited to be going home but i will miss jax a lot but road trips are always a fun part of summer.

i can't wait to be done with school for 4 whole months.
i'm excited for the apartment next year. i wish i could live there now already. i can already tell next years going to be amazing. but who wants to think about the now. when i only have 3 days of classes left and 4 finals to go. i can already tell i will be in the library all next week.

ok back to homework. more updayes later.

Passion '08 blew me away

I probably just had one of the most amazing weekends ever!!!!!!

I met some really cool people, hung out with those that are probably my closest at college and become even closer, Laughed all weeknd, and I can't even find words to describe my God experience.

Give me some time to let this weekend sink in and i'll give more details

a quick update

let em tell you somethings going on in my life:

• there was some kinda of progress made monday night (hopefully more this weekend)
• i'm going to passion this weekend and i'm so excited
• almost done with my first year of college and i cant believe it. It's been one amazing year
• God has blessed me so much with putting so many wonderful people in my life
• Headed to Gainsville tonight for the UF vs UNF baseball game. roadtrip its gonna be fun
• I'm gonna be on of the leaders for the freshmen bible study next year. I'm super excited for that our team is awesome and I know some col freshmen coming next year.
• My parents are coming up in 2 weeks
• Friendships have been mended

i know theres more but im getting ready to leave for g-ville

i'll write more later

a monday night

so last night i had some wonderful conversations with some awesome people. despite the fact that i got locked out of my room and didnt get anything done that i needed to i definitly had a good night. I spent over an hour on the phone with rachel and brian. oh how i miss them. I love talking to them cause its like i never left. then i ran into garry who helped me get onto my room. we talked for almost 2 hours. he's so easy to open up to and we just had some good conversation and some fun times.
we came across that sometimes people change and sometimes there are just those people that you dont get along with. Despite that you still need to love them they are still your brother and sister. That's a true challenge of being a christian. loving those who dont love you back. That definitly something i've faulted on a lot lately. There a people in my life who have changed and i cant see myself being friends with but i shouldnt stop loving on them.

i'm definitly going to write an update later but right now i have to go to class. yes yes i am going to class. no skipping for me. at least not today.

David Crowder Band VIP style

so at the concert dom and i went vip and got to sit pretty close and had a great time. we also got to go backstage and while they played. it was an amazing concert.

theres this little part inside of me that says yes go for it

while the rest says no its not worth it

why cant they just ever agree

It was meant to be

Not only am i going to Passion
but i got VIP tickets to the David Crowder concert on thurday
i'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm happy everything worked out the way it did

I'm glad and happy that we are going to Passion with Fruit Cove instead of by ourselves and because we are we happened to be in the car at just the right time when the upgraded tickets to the concert and i wasnt going but who can pas up VIP tickets to DAVID CROWDER.

but now im broke but it was definitly worth it

47

I woke up this morning and it was 47 degrees
how can it be 47 degrees outside and it almost be april
i dont get weather. at one point it was feb. and 80 outside now its the end of march and 47

back in jax and ready to let these 6 weeks go by fast. i really enjoyed in my time home. got to spend some quality time with my best friend. had some family time and some friend time. did some work for God. and rested. but it went by fast. i still havent un packed anything.

going to class soon, even though i didnt do any of the reading or anything maybe i'll skim through it now.

the best of both worlds

i love
being home
having home cooked meals sleeping in my own big bed
knowing where im going
seeing some of my favorite people ever
and definitly having my bcm friends here
I also love knowing that while im at home sleeping in my comfortable bed eating home cooked meals they're sleeping on roach infested floors at the bcm at UM and eating pb&j all week
but im glad that they're here and enjoying their spring break and doing stuff for the glory of God

and im a little sunburnt but its okay
i'll live

God works through those you least expect

friendships are something you have to choose wisely and i have found that in college friends are some of the most important people around. Since my family is over 350 miles aways my friends here at school have become like my family. Its hard to go almost 3 months without seeing family but being with people who truly care about you and are willing to do anything to help has made life away from those i love dearly much easier. God has blessed me by putting wonderful amazing people into my life who challenge me daily in my faith.

over the past couple weeks the topic of discussion has been how selfish we have been lately.
we do things for our own personal glory an not the glory of God. I have felt convicted lately on why I do things
1. because my friends are there
2. because i know i'll have a good time

this past weekend i got the opportunity to do a d-now weekend with the middle and highschoolers at the church i go to. When preparing for the lesson i was going to have to teach i came uopn this

before God can use us in ministry, we need to be humble. to see who we our apart from Christ. Only when we are broken and humble can we be truly affective in ministry.



the only way for me to truly affect the girls i teach in lifegroup and the students i will come across as being a high school intern i need to humble myself. its easier said then done.

i need to be broken and humle. i need to stop resisting God and letting hin work more in my life. i need to stop being selfish and have a servants heart. I need to be like Mary who when her life was interupted by God's plan she embraced it and glorified him.



Philippians 2:5-8Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

i was able to watch my 9th grade girls be so strong in their faith and it made me desire to be so much stronger in my faith. these girls blew my mind when we sat down for discussion. God works at the least expect times in the least expected ways

i just became very over whelmed

i have this big test on friday
And i kinda just started to study for it which is good a week before
or so i thought
i just realized how much i have to read i didnt know i took so much notes
and then i have to try and figure out what is important enough to know and what i could care less about(which is most of it)
and all i can think about is spring break and going home

i guess i can rule out spending any time on the green and naps for the rest of the week

an update on life

so i did it
i went to every class this week for the entire time too
I even missed out on camping outside of chick-fil-a to be one of the 1st hundred and get free chick-fil-a for a year.

and to add to that i have gone 31 days without any coffee or starbucks
i cant wait for 16th and outr 40 days to be up so i can enjoy a frappacino

and in one week i'll be on my way home for spring break
its been over 2 months since i've been home and i miss everone like crazy

im also excited because bcm's mission trip is to miami. there staying at UM but they're doing some work at church in miramar so i'll get to hang out with them as well which is gonna be awesome

this weekend i'm doing a retreat for the high school and middle school students at chets
i'm really excited its gonna be fun. I have my 9th grade girls who are super cool and we're gonna play some paintball if it ever stops raining.

i have 2 midterms next week
looks like i'll be spending some quality time in the library
and i'll have to find something besides starbucks to keep me awake

i have securied my spot in f305 next year with some of the coolest people ever!! i'm excited for a room with and actual kitchen, a REAL fridge, and a living room. I'm so stoked about it.

“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!’”

philippians 1:20-21

I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

the college life for me

i am not skipping class for the rest of the semester
or at least til spring break
i feel bad that im not making school a priority
i am here to learn aren't I
so no more skipping and more time for studying and doing homework
at least im going to try

cakin what a funny word to use

i hate being sick
i hate that i know im going to be sick and that there is nothing i can do about but wait for it come and take me hostage

cakin it
i try at cakin it and it hasn't gotten me far yet
therefore i must be doing in wrong

oh well

how time flys when your having fun

where has this weekend gone
its monday and i've done nothing productive at all
this weekend
hung out at caileys while they were on their triple fake date, saw amanda and hung out with her, watch movies, smallville, prison break, ate a lot, monster jam (monster truck show) church, caileys, park, marks, movie, flag football, late night breakfast, rockband fun, and so much more

but i did not homework, no studying, and no laundry
and i havent gone grocery shopping in 2 weeks. i have nothing in my fridge to eat at all

and i havent gotten much sleep
so right now im going to sleep
later i'll write more

its offical

i got my first ticket tonight

it says that i was going 20 over(55 in a 35) $208.50

i cant even believe it

good times good times at ole' unf (the place to be)

life is good
God is amazing
and i couldnt ask for anything more (well i could but i dont want to be selfish)

I love my life

pancakes rock!!!

monday and wed are my easy days
i have my earliest class of the week at 11 and im done for the day at 1:15pm
and to my enjoyment both classes are lecture classes so i dont get much if any from them
so usually on sun and tues nights when everyone else is doing hw i find myself doing things to keep busy, like blogging, til my roommates go to bed

well tonights not much different from other tues. I went to co-ed Bible study and since today is notional oancake day we decided to hit up ihop after for some free pancakes. and as college students free anything is good. so after we spend 20 mins in linr just to put our name on the list we decided to hit up denny and just eat pancakes there. so fast forward im now sitting in my room at 11:30 and both my roommates are asleep and im not tired. the one night i can stay awae and watch the movie they're both a sleep. oh well

but good news is i might have found my place to live next year
im hoping it works out because it would be totally amazing if it did

who knows what to do now
i might start reading the book that i have a test on next wee you know get a head start


state conference this weekend
im so excited we're gonna have so much fun
and hopefully brendan shows up cause that would be pretty awesome
the downside is that we cant play powder puff because we wont be back from conference in time but we did get some pretty sweet shirts out of it

must get some sleep!!!!!

gettin home at 3 in the morning for the second night in a row and getting up at 8 for church does nothing good for my studying habits.

all i can think about is sleep

and now we're watching prison break

it's finally friday yippie!!!!!!!!!

today we're going on a picnic
im pretty stoked. the weather went from being hot the lst 2 days to being kinda cool. nice picnic weather.

but im really excited for tonight. a bunch of us are heading over to the otherside of jax to the mercyme, barlow girl, skillet concert. as excited as i am to see these bands so super excited that i can see them all for only 10 bucks (and as a college student 10 bucks can be a big deal when your broke and dont have a job) and the group thats going is pretty stinkin awesome too.

i tye-dyed powder-puff shirts last night and my hands have a blue tint to them and there kinda freakin me out. i've washed them like 10 times and now there dry and gross

well im off to make some pb&j for our picnic

hope everyone had a wonderful week
has a safe weekend
and thanks God for the blessings he's given us

much love

Maybe its meant to be as it is

but there are times when i think we're meant for so much more then what we are now

i skipped class (to take a nap) to catch up on homework!!

so im about to leave the library and go back to my room to try and study

i've been here for almost 2 hours and seemed to not get much done. considering i left my imprtant papers in my room and my calculator i didnt get much done. so now i need to go back to my room and hopefully get some kind of work done there.(when i tried ealier i took a 3 hour nap!! and im still tired)

Sunday i went to the beach by myself to spend some alone time with God. It was such a beautiful day outside. and the one thing i kept thinking about is how I ended up in jacksonville. God works in mysterious ways. As i sat in on the freshmen girls lifegroup on sunday i looked as the girls and I could picture myself in their shoes not to long ago. Wow has so much changed since then and definitly for the better. I really couldnt see myself anywhere but here and I just couldnt thank God enough for leading my here. he knows my heart and he gave me exactly what I wanted out of college. I'm getting a lot more out of college then an education. My Faith in him is growing so more then i could ever hope for.

I havent been home yet this semester and it doesnt look like i'll be home anytime soon. I love being here and the weekends are fun. but i do miss my family and friends. i'll try after conference but im not holding my breathe. it's hard to go home because i feel that im home for such a short time and theres so much i wanna do. and now with a commitment to lifegroup its going to be even harder. but hopefully sometime soon!!!!!!

boys

my day was made better by 2 boys and a trip to denny

but mostly the two boys


all i can say is i've met some really great guys here dont get me worng there are the handful of guys at home that i actually like and can stand (most scott, jason, most of the nations boys) but the suys i've meet here are just really cool

let me tell you why
first at the beginnning of the day it was beautiful and i didnt want to go to class i just want to sit on the green and read or just sit there and hang out. so i went to both my classes. i wasnt gonna go to my intro class but i did. so i was bumbed when i walked out of class and it started to rain. so i was walkin to my room and i ran into some friends so everyone went to class so i started walking to my room and justin walked with me. usually he goes right to where his dorm is and i go left well today he went left with me. I we got to my buliding i asked him where he was going? he replied" i was walking with you since i havent seen you in a while and I wanted to talk to you to catch up." that made me happy just the fact that he wanted to walk with me made my day. it made going to class worth it just to walk with him and talk. it was nice.

then
i was going to the "mailboxes" with my roommates but after we checked our mail we continued walking. they wanted to take some flag off of one the staircases. i really didnt wanna go but i felt bad going back so i kept walking. As we get towards the green we run into Josh and his roommate they were waiting for BCM (they were really early) and hes like stay with us but i didnt have my stuff so he told me hed walk back to my room with me to get it. the fact that hed walk all the way back to my room toget my stuff with me was so sweet. hes such a good guy and i say that with the best inentions possible. and hes hot(and taken) but thats the plus but hes a cool kid.

these guys are awesome and I'm so glad that God placed them into my life when i neede them the most.

and dennys was fun i'm glad i went cause the usual friends i hang out with didnt go so i had fun and we almost died but im glad i didnt

i got class in the morning. poop

coffee coffee coffee

The only way i get any really studying done here is to make myself go to the library. with 2 other roommates and the 4th here(one of my roommates bf) i never get much done

So I had some studying to get done (the usualyy reading and homework, test stuff) so I decided that i'd make myself go to the library after bible study to actually get things done. Instead of the library i went to the Fine art building where there was no one in there but me and got all(all that needed be be done tonight or most)my stuff done and it took me less time then i thought. I was really pleased with myself.

The only thing is i drank a grande coffee thinking i might need it. and now I dont and I'm wide awake and everyone else in my room is asleep. well it gave me time to blog.



so today I went to chets and spoke with the middle school and high school pastors. they were very nice guys had nice things to say and offer me a couple positions that I can choose from. So I decided to take some time withmy decision and pray to see where God leads me but to also go and observe each different thing and see what I like best and what would work for me. But I'm really excited for whats going on and whats going to happen.

I think I'm gonna start on my special prooject now

When God speaks he moves mountains

In my freshmen bible study this semester we are studing the book of Philippians.

This upcoming week (as in bible study tom night) we will be discussing Philippians 2
Our challenge for the week was to read through the begining of 2 and apply it to your life

Just so you know this is what the message reads for Philippians 2:1-4

If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

So the last part of the passage is what has really been on my heart the last couple of day

Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourself long enough to lend a helping hand.

Since i've been in jacksonville i've gotten involved in BCM and have been plugged into a church yay for julianne right thats not what im trying to get. i feel that i'm not doing anything to help others, or putting myself aside. I opt out of doing things to hang out with my friends even though i feel as though i should be doing it. I just have this desire to do more with my faith then the surface things that i'm doing. I feel the need to do something more.

One thing that i found that i loved doing was being part of student ministry. It's something I took pride in, a place I wanted to be, and I enjoyed doing things that made it better.

I have felt several times that God's been calling to get involved with the student ministry at Chets.

So i took the first step in that and last night I sent an email to my college pastor at Chets just telling him I how feel and asking him how I go about getting involved with the student ministry and next thing you know I'm on the phone with the high school pastor and now I have a meeting with him and the middle school pastor tom at Chets.

Now i'm nervous, I've never met these men before and their gonna sit down with me and "grill" (for the lack there of a better word) about my Faith and ask me questions that i'm not gonna know what to say and just totally speak nonsense and screw up. But i'm gonna think positively because if this is something that God is leading me towards then I know that he'll lead me to whats best for me and give me the strenght, courage, and words to get through the meeting

to say the least I'm really excited about this and I hope I can find that something that God has been leading me towards

pray for me

i'm so thirsty its crazy

the fact that its almost 2 in the morning i'm up and not really tired blows my mind

the fact that its so hot in my room that im sweating blows my mind even more specially that fact that its freezing outside

i'm done for down
i'm gonna try to sleep so i dont miss class tom.

A hard day at work and a broken arm to show for it

i love my brother
there is no doubt about that
even though we dnt show it alot my brother and i have a great relationship
and its times like these that i wish i could be there for him

my brother was just trying to do something fr himself but it also in the end it helped the family and its cme back to bite him in the butt 2 already

today while at work my brother was helping some girl up and another girl ran into him. he landed on hiis arm wrong anf has a non-broken (or something) fractures. right now he cant play hockey, cant work, and is just not in a altogether good mood. his team plays at the panthers arena next week, they're second in the league and get to go to playoffs, hes worked so hard for this and might not get to play. it's all up to what the orthapedic surgon says. if its not too bad he might get to play but all we can do is pray and wait.

i feel so bad for him he's been handed some low blows lately


the weathers is cold it be nice if it would just stop raining

It's nights like these that make me realize how blessed I truly am with everything

Chinese fire drills in Denny's just have to be the coolest thing ever

My day

Besides class my day was pretty good
i went to the gym and ran 1.5 miles
and then i got a room change
yes i finally decided to move out and im happy about it i met the girls and they seem very nice so i'm excited.

i missed bible study tonight being in that housing meeting but its okay
i'll go to freshmen tom and the grove thursday so i'll be fine


as i look around my room now i think to myself how am i going to get all this crap to my new room.

oh and i'm gonna become a pro lacrosse player by the end of the semester.

and this weather rocks, it maybe a little cold but i love it sooooo much

i'm soo cold

brrrrrr..................

the heat hasn't kicked on yet
it needs to hurry up

Watching FRC online
Matt Miller is teaching
oh how i miss that guy

Going to Pearl tonight
its gonna be fun

My Best Friends Wedding is on

I love this movie


I dont know what to do. I have the opportunity to switch rooms. there is a list of avalible rooms and theres a room that has only one girl in it and she just happens to be a friend of a friend. ai want to move but at the same time i've really become comfortable(i guess) with living in the room im in now. but after tonight i wish i had the roommates that i could hang out with and befriends with. I get along with my roommates now but i couldnt see myself hanging out with them. the thought of moving all my stuff that i just got almost completely settled in again and organized. i cant go to the housing office till monday and they'll hold my bed for 3 days so i guess i just need to pray and let God guide me to where im suppose to be.

i'm also debating on whether or not i'm going to a club named the Peral tomorrow night with some friends. Robby wants to go and he keeps asking us to go we might but im not sure.

i still need to write about last night it was totally an experience but i dont know how to explain it but give me time and i'll let you know

procrastiation

i need to finish reading Plato but i really would rather be sleeping

i've put off reading by organizing my desk and closet and everything
and now there is nothing left ot do but read

tom is the grove and im excited to see everyone

school school school

to take an extra class or to not
that is the question
i dont need to take the class because i need the summer hours but i feel that i have so much time on my hands that a 5th class would be benifical
but it's only the 1st week so i guess if i do have to much time i'll just get myself a job instead

where have all my friends gone? i havent seen a lot of them since i've been here i think its the weird schedule i have

i think i'm done for the night
im gonna get ready for bed and catch up some gossip girl

The Practice of Proactive waiting

Passionately pleading for God to use us is like passionately pleaing for fire to be hot or for water to be wet. God by his very nature uses people. Yet we have cultvaited for ourselves a unwritten theology that we must persuade God to use us to accomplish his plans. It's as if he were determined to use angels or seaphim or the perpetually bowing elders to build his kingdom, and we try to convincehim with our passion and our logic ans our sheer resolve to let us do it instead. So we imagine that we twist his arm until he cries uncle and finally days," Oh, all right. Go ahead and do some work for my kingdom if you must." Friend, understand that serving God to advance his kingdom's dominion on the earth is not something we have to beg him to do, it's something he has already chosen for us. It is hard-wired into our very being to respond affirmatively to this choice of his.

In the Meantime
by Rob Brendle

This totaly makes sense in my life right now. How come I didnt realize it before. I keep asking God to use me, it shouldnt be use me because he already wants to use me i just need to sit down and listen because i know he wants to use. I think it scares me to completely let go of my life and have no control over it. I think that when i did i found the friends i was looking for and I saw the things he did for me. but complete control is hard especially when i just got complete freedom. There is one thing i want for my life to completelt give it to him and to follow his plan he has for me. I see the amazing things he does for those who live for him and give there all for him and i want the happiness that they have. Now im not trying to be envious but the way they live their life just makes me want to be tha better person and live my life for him.

The cry shouldn't be "God, use me" but "God, what else needs to be done"

this book has rasied so many questions for me and i'm only in the first chapter or so. It has made me look at how i Live. I cant wait to see what is in store for the rest of this book